some jokes before Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas, everyone! Best wishes!

Merry Christmas, everyone! Best of the best wishes! Hope some of these jokes/anecdotes could help for the good Christmas spirit :):

A kid told to his friend: "My father is a construction worker, every time when I tell him 2 + 2=4, I eat ice-cream!"
"Well," said the other kid. "My father is a waiter and every time when I tell him 2+2=4, I eat some slaps..."

Via Rose Smith:

Mrs. Davidson's dishwasher was broken but she could not be there when the repairman came.
So she left a note on the door and the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill,
on the counter, and I will mail you the bill. Oh, and by the way don't worry about my bull dog.
He won't bother you, but whatever you do , do not under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!

The repairman arrives at Mrs. Davidson's apartment the next day. He discovers the biggest and
meanest looking Bull Dog he has ever seen, but just as she said, the dog lays there on the carpet
watching the repairman go about his business. The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole
time with his incessant yelling, cursing, and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself
any longer and yelled: "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!" To which the parrot replied:
"Get him, Spike!"

Always remember to follow your instructions, and have a good day.

From a letter to a famous cooking magazine: "Dear magazine! Thank you for your great recipe! I've changed the truffles with mashed potatoes and the lobsters with chopped sausages, but actually I liked your recipe for salad with lobsters and truffles very much!"

They say good boys go to heaven and bad boys wherever they want... What they don't mention is the reason for that is the difference between being bad and evil is as enormous as the difference between earth and sky... from my future Space Ghosts. 
http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://allanbard.hit.bg,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI,http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew,http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08HTXf00CJ0, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmVW4-030Yc,
http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com,www.allanbard.wordpress.com,
 http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov/121092637984053?sk=wall,

http://www.shelfari.com/allanbard,myspace.com/ivan_allanbard,

     

 

The Hobbit 2, The Desolation Of Smaug - a good reason to get a 3D TV...

"Welcome to the world of your childhood dreams!" This should be the greeting the agents/ushers in the movie saloons should say to all who go to see the 2nd part of one of the most famous fairy-tales...  And this greeting won’t be exaggerated as the movie is so magnificently well-made that one feels like a part of the fairy-tale itself...

Despite all the incredible, though extremely dangerous, adventures of the thirteen dwarves, the wise wizard and the young hobbit, the amazing special effects and the great costumes, the next part of the faity-tale would probably disappoint some of Tolkien’s fans when they find out it has little in common with the book. Yet, I guess when they see the amazing way the director and the other creators of the movie revived the story, they all would be in awe of all the dangers, well-developed dialogues, the incredible creatures, etc…

Contrary to the book, the new part of The Hobbit is not for kids again, even more than the 1^st An Unexpected Journey. It’s much darker and more serious than the fairy-tale written on paper, with some new characters that were not present in the book, with a lot of new scenes and events, which were just mentioned but not described in J. R. Tolkien masterpiece (like the meeting with Sauron’s spirit and his subordinates, the events that lead to Thorin’s nickname, etc). A lot of the well-known adventures are developed to such an extent that at moments one feels that it’s a totally new story. But all that is so well-combined with the rest of the movie it makes it worthy of more admiration.

The new characters (not mentioned in the book) are so well created that they all become an essential part of all the dangerous and incredible adventures. I bet even the author would like the excellent fighter, the she-elf Tauriel (the great-looking Evangelyn Lily, a star from Lost) and her impossible love with the dwarf Kily, the dreadful white orc Azog and his incredible strength and ability to endure the constant pain of the prosthesis stuck in his cut arm, etc... Not to mention the many battle scenes that are so well-created they are almost impossible to achive in real life.

When all these details are combined with the 3 D motion picture, the experience in the movie salons becomes a dream come true… After all those complains about 3 D effects that tire our eyes, I would say The Hobbit would be a good reason to buy a 3 D TV set. Watching such movies at home could be accompanied with some rests from time to time and we could enjoy all the magnificence of the genre without being afraid about our eyesight so much?

Finally, I would like to point out that both the parts of The Hobbit’s movies are not for kids. There are too many and too vicious battle scenes and merciless killings, so I guess a lot of the younger fans would have sleep trouble after 2,30 – 2,40 hours spent at the movie salon…   

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://pinterest.com/allanbard/

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The Dark Path, by Luke Romyn – a breath-taking story about a modern Apocalypse, the most horrible ancient cult, the deadliest assassin and the kindest “light bearer”.

Some people say: Bad luck often brings good luck, or: Only a thief could catch a thief, others that only light could destroy darkness… Yet, Luke Romyn’s book is certain prove about the truth in both sentences.

The modern story about the saving of a new messiah from an ancient and disgusting cult contains so many vivid descriptions of horrible killings, bloody scenes of mafia and assassins’ wars, hatred and will to destroy all the sacred and kind in life, that many readers would definetly have nightmares after turning over some of the pages. Many of them will be convinced that only the evil deeds would deal with the dreadful way of the murderers and their bosses to earn their living and satisfy their striving for power. Evil is the best tool against the horrors done by any bad characters and kings of the crime realm, they would say, pointing out that the most dreadful assasin was the one who actually saved the young messiah from his inevitable doom. Others would remember the glorious power of the good intentions, triumphing over the most powerful weapon of Satan and would claim there’s nothing that could beat the kind thoughts and wise decisions...

The breath-taking adventures of the messiah-kid and his protector, the ex-good cop and present dreadful assasin, are described by an excellent style. Usually, stories written in English have to contain short sentences, dividing those with more words to a couple of separate lines. Yet, that way the style changes and the events and thoughts described by an author become something different… Luke Romyn’s writing, however, has long enough sentences with all the necessary adjectives, verbs, descriptions, etc. to make his story more breath-taking, interesting, and even with some touch of the ancient fairy-tales, according to my opinion. His imagination is as good as his writing skills and I guess everyone would enjoy all the adventures of the main characters, trying to escape the dreadful chasers of the most evil cult and their many cunning traps.

However, The Dark Path is not just a new story about merciless killings and evil, religious fanatics’s plans. Amongst all the bloody scenes and supernatural creatures, the author included some amazing philosophy, revealing the importance to do good and what the world would look like with a real balance between all the nations. Because of the author’s way to reveal his thoughts and imagination, many, if not all, of the non-believers would reconsider their attitude towards Bible and religious teachings at the end of the book. I guess that, together with the great writing style, would make those who don’t like to read and prefer to watch movies based on books instead to become better book lovers. Besides, reading the story, everyone would discover the great experience to „see” and „feel” such details which could be hard to notice watching a movie, no matter what good special effects its creators included. The description of hell, for example, is so vivid and horribly awesome that it could send cold shivers even down the spines of the toughest readers and horror genre’s fans. For some others, it could turn out to be a mirror for their deepest and most dreadful fears… I guess a hell where the devil’s a woman could surpass the wildest fantasies or nightmares…

Despite the author’s breath-taking way to put to words the gripping adventures of his characters, some book-lovers would admit The Dark Path is naïve at some moments (though I would say that’s a part of its beauty too, aren’t we all at least a bit tired of all the “meaningful” reality?). They would probably add that the end is too sudden and incomplete (and that’s the only thing in the book I don’t like too), yet it seems it’s just the author’s way to make the “passage” to his next stories smooth enough…    

No matter how good Luke Romyn is at describing horrors and ever-lasting philosophy, his skills in humour and jokes are amazing too. His facebook page and site are full of evidences for that: https://www.facebook.com/luke.romyn?fref=ts. Though the author prefers to write dreadful mysteries like The Dark Path, I guess if more people ask him to combine his funny thoughts in a story or two (or include them in some of his other works), he would create some new, even more amazing books, with a perfect balance between fun and seriousness. Good luck in the future, my fb friend, Luke Romyn! Let the wonderful noise of the sea always sounds in your ears! (as my water dragons' hunters would greet).  

 

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http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://pinterest.com/allanbard/