some jokes before my vacation :)

Hope everyone impatiently await their vacation for this year? If you didn’t have one yet? I for one would be very glad to swim in the Black Sea this year for 10 days, hope to meet some friends there, though the few I wanted to see won’t be able to come it seems… Yet, if you plan to be in Burgas, Bulgaria, let me know, we could have a great time together! And could finish my next The Opposite Of Magic together too? I need some help/info about some chapters… Like some for surfing with the amazing boards on the big waves in the sea/ocean… Nevertheless, I hope the jokes I chose could be a good start for the week:

A priest at an Irish wedding said to the present: “And now let’s all of you stand by the person who makes your life complete…” So, the local bartender was nearly suffocated…

After waiting 3 days and nights for a letter from his beloved, the prince charming finally got one via pigeon. But when he opened it, there was written: “We grind swords and knives! Low prices!”

And a thought from my stories: If you want to know the bad sides of someone, a friend or not, then you should ask his enemies… my future Incredible Future.

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew,
http:// www.allanbard.blogspot.com, www.allanbard.wordpress.com
http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4159102-ivan-stoikov-allan-bard, http://www.shelfari.com/allanbard

Typical, old characters vs. new, unseen and unknown in the fantasy, sci-fy genres.

Usually, the presence of wizards with sharp hats, fire-breathing dragons, princesses, powerful kings, vampires, elves, dwarfs, little green men, etc is a certain evidence we read a fantasy/sci-fy story or watch a movie of the same genres. There are amazing books and pictures with all these characters, yet what makes them amazing is mostly the good plot and thoughts. Thoughts we could use in any period (past, present or future) of our history.
Yet, though these typical characters bring additional „colour” to the story, I guess they are too ordinary already? Almost as ordinary as the creatures and characters we see everyday: dogs, cats, horses, skillfull people in the army, cold-hearted politicians and other men in power, etc. Almost every book in fantasy/sci-fy genres describe these typical beings, that’s why I think we authors should strive to create new creatures and characters which nobody have ever seen or heard of. I guess any reader or writer would agree with that? New, unseen beings would seem much more interesting than the classical and would intrigue the readers much better? Beings like weightless korks (flying creatures with eliptical shape, some sort of intelligent worms, with no eyes but able to perfectly orientate by the revertebrated sound and to change their colour fast and so perfectly that people and other predators could hardly see them even flying on different backgrounds); fish-keepers (big, extremely evil and cunning fish that could fulfill perfectly well their tasks, namely to guard the sunken treasures and prescious objects); rock pieces (one of the most ancient rational beings that could wield the Magic, long time ago they had been of flesh and blood and lived in almost all the ancient seas and oceans, but after they were killed by the evil human races the long years in the ground made them creatures of stone); Brown faces (the most evil human race, in the remote past all of them had fair skin but their sinister intentions and deeds bit by bit made their bodies and faces as brown and cracked as the bark of a mulberry tree… yet, the most scary thing was not their sinister and ugly faces but their extremely evil thoughts and strivings to own and conquer everything and everybody, which probably was the reason that they took part in all the wars and battles in antiquity); glowing, living balls (tender, kind-hearted and noble creatures living in the waters of the ancient lakes, rivers and seas, as intelligent as humans, though their language was very peculiar, only mermaids could understand their squeaks, besides they could change shape fast and swim at lightning speed when they had to escape the predators or move to better water areas); night fruit (big, green balls that could grow and appear on every tree or other plant, only if an ancient wizard lived near... these fruit were formed by Magic, so they contained almost everything a human body needed, their only disadvantage was that they had to be picked only in the night, otherwise they melted and became rotten and bad for health); Mountaineers (in antiquity there were not only noble animals but noble human races too, the Mountaineers were the most noble among them, only they could become and train wizards as they knew what they had to do to wield the Magic because they could understand the real nature of this most perfect state of matter, every single thought, deed, act of theirs formed a part of the incredible Magic, so they could do and make anything we could imagine, their magnificent civilization was so advanced that in some ways we wouldn’t reach their level of skills and knowledge even after thousands of years...).
I guess new creatures, characters like these could bring new excitement, thrills, or even plots and wisdom in the genre?
http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.myspace.com/ivan_allanbard, http://www.facebook.com/ivanstoikov.allanbard, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com

Why modern fairy-tales are better than the old, classical...

Probably only some people will agree with me about this... Many of them like only the classical fairy-tales like Little Red Riding Hood, Snow-White And The Seven Dwarves, Puss In Boots, etc. just because they remind them of their childhood. They even forbid their kids to read books like Harry Potter, Peter Pan, The Hobbit, Alice In Wonderland, or The Wizard Of Oz. I guess it's a certain evidence of "narrow-mindedness", because they just can't realize these modern tales combine not only amazing events, incredible creatures, or breath-taking battles and deeds. They also show us many good ways to deal with everlasting problems, problems we have today, had in the past too, or will have in the future...
They show us how useless and stupid it is to be a racis (remember how useless it was to name H. Grainger a mud-blood in Harry Potter books, she was one of the best students Hogwarts had ever seen), to care only about our own well-being (in the battle between good and evil in Bring me The Head Of Prince Charming where the good won the contest just because being evil was stupid and the good creatures helped much more the evil contestants than any other evil doers did), or the true meaning of words like love (I hope I showed well enough what the real, unudultered love can do in my Tale Of The Rock Pieces), good, evil, truth, lies... Meanwhile, what mopst of the classical fairy-tales deal with is finding of enormous treasures, or good, profitable marriages. I’m not sure whether it’s a good comparison, but I guess old fairy-tales were the equivalent of soap operas in the past when there was no TV, Internet? So, I guess the difference between a TV soap opera of 1000 meaningless episodes and an Oscar nominee like Schilndler’s List, The Fisher King, Rain-man, or The Slumdog Billionaire...
http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.myspace.com/ivan_allanbard, http://www.facebook.com/ivanstoikov.allanbard
http://allanbard.wordpress.com

aren't you fed up with stupidity in the streets?

I guess everyone have seen "wise" headlines on T-shirts, fridge magnets, etc? Headlines like: My boyfriend kisses better than yours, or FBI - Female Body Inspector?
Don't you think not everything we should think of should be about sex? I guess it would be much better if we see more good, inspirational thoughts, or nice pictures of mythical creatures, or other funny quotes, photos etc. that don't include only sex... If you want to know my opinion, everyone could help about that using sites like zazzle.com, cafepress.com, fiverr, etc. There any user could create T-shirts, stickers, cups, fridge magnets, etc. with his/her own design, then share his/her work with family/friends/world... Join me, I'm allanbard there, you'll see what I mean. I usually use some of my photos, quotes or illustrations from my books, or other wise thoughts, which most of population on Earth would find interesting, inspiring, or even useful. Thoughts like:

The fabled musk deer searches the world over for the source of the scent which comes from itself. Ramakrishna
When Injustice becomes law, rebelion becomes duty.
One can fight money only with money... my Tale Of The Rock Pieces.
Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be ~ Thomas à Kempis
The one who asks is stupid 5 minutes, the one who doesn't is stupid for life. Chinesse saying.
One of the greatest delusions of mankind is that men are superior to animals... my The Opposite Of Magic.
Love can be used for good or ill, but hatred leads only to destruction.
"The death of one man is a tragedy, the death of millions is a statistic."- Josef Stalin
In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins- not through strength but by perseverance. ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
All the problems in the world lead to one - narrow-minded people... my Incredible Future.

the most serious genre.

I guess this topic has so many answers that they wouldn't "fit" in a blog post... Many people would say stories about everyday's life (marriage, having kids and teaching them of good manners, or about the horrible divorces that destroy many kids and parents' life) are amongst the things everyone must put under the pillows or over the beds. Of course, some other people would claim to put books or other products about "How to..." themes amongst the five things they would take on a desert island. According to their opinion, these books are the best helpers in everyday's life, showing us which are the best ways to deal with an ex-boy/girl-friend, how to make useful objects out of scrap, or train our mind to remember all we need (or don't need) to know in life, etc.
Actually, they all are right to some extent... I don't mean these books, movies, etc. couldn't be useful in many cases. Yet, it doesn't mean they should be worshiped so much that their titles should replace everything else in the front pages of newspapers or in all the appropriate comercials. But I guess anyone would agree a reader couldn't find more wisdom in any other genre than in fantasy or sci-fy books. Wisdom that oftentimes is eternal, i. e. it's actual for any time of our history and could help us solve any problems in the future too. Where else one could find such good thoughts but in fantasy or sci-fy stories:
The first step to correct a mistake is patience. Clone Wars.
You'll never be able to win, unless you defeat yourself first. Samurai Jack.
Oftentimes it's harder to accpet help than offering. Clone Wars.
The one who runs with aggression walks without dignity. Samurai Jack.
It's our choices, far more than our abilities, that show us who we really are. J.K. Rowling - Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets.
One could fight money only with money. my Tale Of The Rock Pieces.
To die will be an awfully big adventure. Peter Pan.
Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering... master Yoda, The Phantom Menace.
Even in the hottest fire there's a bit of water. my The Opposite Of Magic.
If there isn't Santa Claus, the sun won't rise. There will just be a giant ball of hot gasses. Terry Pratchett's Hogfather.
All the problems in the world lead to one - narrow-minded people. my Incredible Future.
Of course, many of the sci-fy, fantasy novels, movies, etc. include much action, many battle scenes, wierd creatures etc. that "hide" the wisdom in these stories... Probably that's why they usually don't win Oscars for something else but special effects (with a few exceptions - The Lord Of The Rings - Return Of The King).
Yet, it doesn’t mean the useful and important lessons aren’t there. We just have to learn not only to watch the special effects, the amazing battle scenes or creatures, but to think over the glorious thoughts and wisdom we could find there. As they could really make our present and future world better.
Finally, I’ll just give an example of the great power of such stories. Flesh, a book of about 150-180 pages, describing a future after we destroyed the ozon layer, made USA government change its policy about the harmful emisions. So, this small book was one of the main reasons we still exist.
I guess many readers could give similar examples? Best wishes to all fans of fantasy and sci-fy!


http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://allanbard.hit.bg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://allanbard.blogspot.com, http://www.myspace.com/ivan_allanbard, http://www.facebook.comivanstoikov.allanbard