via Rose Smith: The Toughest Man In The Bar.A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!" The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat. The drunk leans on the table again and says: "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!" The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says Nothing. The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!" At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders, looks him square in the eyes and says...
"Grandpa,....... Go home, you're drunk."
Via Rose Smith: If electricity comes from
electrons, does morality come from morons?
Via Rose Smith: A husband and wife are having
dinner at a fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes
over to their table, gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, then says
she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says,
"Who the hell was that?"
"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress.""Well,
that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a
divorce."
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if
we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more
wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infiniti or Lexus in
the garage, and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant
with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with Jim?" asks
the wife.
"That's his mistress," says her husband.
"Ours is prettier," she replies.
If
the morning is wiser than the evening, then an evening could be funnier,
crazier, much more interesting, much more magnificent, way more awesome
or glorious than any morning hour, minute moment, or second... from my
future Space Hide & Seek.
"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress.""Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce."
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infiniti or Lexus in the garage, and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says her husband.
"Ours is prettier," she replies.
