Top ten Bulgarian historical sights...

Many of my friends from abroad and all these guys I want to befriend at social sites like facebook, sodahead, etc. know little of my native country, Bulgaria and my people. Probably that's why they are usually frustrated to realize a person from a far away, unknown country would like to connect with them. Their frustration's origin is in the fact that many of my compatriots ask for money and try many cunning ways to cheat and steal stuff... Yet, it doesn't mean all the Bulgarians are the same mean and horrible cheaters :), my many foreign friends already know that, I guess. Actually, when foreigners learn a bit more about Bulgaria, they begin to like Bulgarians too, with all their good and bad sides. To show some of the beauty of my country, I couldn't refrain from sharing an article of mine I wrote for a e-magazine, during my probation there, hope everyone will enjoy it:
http://travel.spisanie.to/%D0%B8%D1%81%D1%82%D0%BE%D1%80%D0%B8%D1%8F-%D0%B8-%D1%86%D0%B8%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%BB%D0%B8%D0%B7%D0%B0%D1%86%D0%B8%D1%8F/5898-the-ten-most-popular-historical-sights-in-bulgaria

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http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4159102-ivan-stoikov-allan-bard, www.shelfari.com/allanbard,   

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://pinterest.com/allanbard/

   

some jokes for the beginning of May ;)

Via Bill Koller: An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels .
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, Given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No ... not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.

New thief prisoner enters in his cell: “Why you put these bars on the windows?” the thief asks the warder. “Because of security…” answers the wader. “You are insane! Who will try to enter and steal something from the prison???

 

Via Mari Eta: Preparing for a hunt, a father took his son's cigarettes... Until afternoon, he had already shot a dragon, 3 mermaids and 2 trolls...

Plus a new thought from a book of mine: If we don't forget that the common & ordinary could be much more amazing, funnier or fantastic than the incredible dreams, then we won't be able to find out the real fantasy. My A Writer's Adventures.

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http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4159102-ivan-stoikov-allan-bard,

www.shelfari.com/allanbard,   

 http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://pinterest.com/allanbard/

some jokes for the beginning of spring :)

Wish you a nice spring-time, everyone :)!

via Mari Eta: It's not shameful for a man to cry... It's shameful when his make-up is washed out...

Via Sanjay Shukla: INDIA:HEAVEN ON EARTH:
An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the World.

So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to China.

On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he Noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '$10,000 per call'.

The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what The telephone was used for.

The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.

The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

Next stop was in Japan. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the Same golden telephone with the same sign under it.

He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in China and
He asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.

She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000
He Could talk to God.

' O.K., thank you,' said the American.

He then traveled to Pakistan, Srilanka, Russia, Germany and France ...

In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same '$10,000 Per call' sign under it.
The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to up to India to See if Indians had the same phone.

He arrived in India , and again, in the first church he entered, there
Was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read

'One
Rupee per call.'

The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign.
'Father, I've traveled all over World and I've seen this same golden Telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, But in the US the price was $10,000 per call.

Why is it so cheap here?' The priest smiled and answered, 'You're in India now, Son - it's a Local Call'.This is the only heaven on the Earth. 
KEEP SMILING 
If you are proud to be an Indian pass this on!!!

Via Mari Eta: Never wrap a GMO fish in a newspaper... The GMO bastard fills in the crossword puzzle...

And my usual quote/thought from some of my writings:

(Oftentimes) the best way toward courage is knowledge… from my Lake Mystery.

 http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://pinterest.com/allanbard/

www.allanbard.blogspot.com, www.allanbard.wordpress.com

http://www.goodreads.com/user/show/4159102-ivan-stoikov-allan-bard, www.shelfari.com/allanbard

some jokes before Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas, everyone! Best wishes!

Merry Christmas, everyone! Best of the best wishes! Hope some of these jokes/anecdotes could help for the good Christmas spirit :):

A kid told to his friend: "My father is a construction worker, every time when I tell him 2 + 2=4, I eat ice-cream!"
"Well," said the other kid. "My father is a waiter and every time when I tell him 2+2=4, I eat some slaps..."

Via Rose Smith:

Mrs. Davidson's dishwasher was broken but she could not be there when the repairman came.
So she left a note on the door and the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill,
on the counter, and I will mail you the bill. Oh, and by the way don't worry about my bull dog.
He won't bother you, but whatever you do , do not under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!

The repairman arrives at Mrs. Davidson's apartment the next day. He discovers the biggest and
meanest looking Bull Dog he has ever seen, but just as she said, the dog lays there on the carpet
watching the repairman go about his business. The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole
time with his incessant yelling, cursing, and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself
any longer and yelled: "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!" To which the parrot replied:
"Get him, Spike!"

Always remember to follow your instructions, and have a good day.

From a letter to a famous cooking magazine: "Dear magazine! Thank you for your great recipe! I've changed the truffles with mashed potatoes and the lobsters with chopped sausages, but actually I liked your recipe for salad with lobsters and truffles very much!"

They say good boys go to heaven and bad boys wherever they want... What they don't mention is the reason for that is the difference between being bad and evil is as enormous as the difference between earth and sky... from my future Space Ghosts. 
http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://allanbard.hit.bg,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI,http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew,http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08HTXf00CJ0, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmVW4-030Yc,
http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com,www.allanbard.wordpress.com,
 http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov/121092637984053?sk=wall,

http://www.shelfari.com/allanbard,myspace.com/ivan_allanbard,

     

 

some jokes for the weekend ;)...

In Bulgaria they say you cannot carry 2 water melons under one armpit (sorry, can't remember the English version :). Yet, as some of my characters say: If we use all the opportunities, then even the laws of nature wouldn't be an obstacle... That's why I guess even in the most tense times (as happened to me recently, so I could not post regularly at my blog/s) one could find a solution to fulfill his/her tasks... Hope some of these jokes/anecdotes I will re post will make anyone's weekend better :): 

via Rose Smith: The Toughest Man In The Bar.A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!" The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat. The drunk leans on the table again and says: "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!" The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says Nothing. The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!" At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders, looks him square in the eyes and says...

"Grandpa,....... Go home, you're drunk." 

 

Via Rose Smith: If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Via Rose Smith: A husband and wife are having dinner at a fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?"

"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress.""Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce."

"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infiniti or Lexus in the garage, and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.

"That's his mistress," says her husband.

"Ours is prettier," she replies.

 

  If the morning is wiser than the evening, then an evening could be funnier, crazier, much more interesting, much more magnificent, way more awesome or glorious than any morning hour, minute moment, or second... from my future Space Hide & Seek.

 

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://pinterest.com/allanbard/

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http://www.flickr.com/photos/allanbard/,

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Jack The Giant Slayer – one of the ancient fairy-tales told in a better way.

  “As a king I could pay you a lot of gold, as a father I will never be able to pay you back…” This line from the movie Jack The Giant Slayer (I can’t remember the exact words, actually, but the meaning was the same) was one of the many things in this old-story-told-in-a-better-modern-way that would make any fan realize motion pictures could improve and develop the old fairy-tales and be much better, wiser or even funnier than the one-time adventures our parents used to put us to bed with.

I guess many fantasy fans and critics would say the movie is too naive and childish, yet everyone should agree it’s a fairy-tale and everything there should be much different than our everyday boring routine. That’s why any critic should admire the good job the movie crew have done creating the breath-taking plot, the amazing fairy-tale creatures, the brave deeds or some characters’ wise thoughts. Motion pictures like Jack The Giant Slayer could really inspire any fantasy fan to show some brave actions, to look not only for the amazing special effects in such movies but for wise thoughts and quotes too, and to have such fun in the movie hall as it could never happen with another story about our modern life…

Actually, if you’ve seen The Hobbit before Jack The Giant Slayer, you wouldn’t be so impressed by the special effects in the fairy-tale with the magical beans. At moments, the giants are as “good-looking” as some of the orcs, yet as a whole the costumes and the horrible creatures from Bilbo Baggins’ story were more impressive. It doesn’t mean, of course, that the other qualities of Jack’s story are not good enough. A friend of mine from UK said it was a typical English movie, showing some good sides of monarchy too (noble thoughts and actions of kings and princesses, their compassion and honorable behavior, etc). I guess this motion picture could become another reason for English people to love their queen?

Jack, The Giant Slayer includes some horrible scenes, I have to admit, and though we are accustomed to such violence in movies already (it couldn’t be put in a row with real horror motion pictures, of course, like Friday 13^th, A Nightmare On Elm Street, etc), some people with faint hearts should close their eyes at some of the dreadful moments… Anyway, the excellent crew is another plus for the movie: Nicholas Hoult as Jack is a typical hero from most fairy-tales we’ve read, Eleanor Tomlinson is amazing and not typical princess from most of the stories form our childhood, Ewan McGregor is a great guardian and soldier, Stanley Tucci is perfect as a traitor, Bill Nighy is one of the nastiest and most cunning giants you’d ever see, Ian McShane is a king many countries would be proud of, etc…

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://pinterest.com/allanbard/

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Happy April's Fool Day, everyone :)!

Happy April's Fool day, everyone! Hope your lies/pranks were/are/will be better and more than those of the other who try to lie and make a fun of you...:). Anyway, a few good jokes could make the day perfect even for the victims of the others' pranks and lies: 

THE POLISH DIVORCE -(Joke shared by Avinash Kamat)

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well.

One day he rushed into a lawyer's office
and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.

The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances,
and asked him the following questions:

Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.

I don't think you understand.
Does either of you have a real grudge?

No, we have carport, and not need one.

I mean what are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland .

Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger?
No, she white.

Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.

What makes you think that?
I got proof.

What kind of proof?
She going to poison me.
She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.

I can read English pretty good, and it say:

...POLISH REMOVER..!!

"Your weight is not compatible with your height" said a diet expert to a fat guy. "You see now," the fat guy said to his friends. "I'm tall, not fat!!!"

All the kids have imaginary friends, only those who train martial arts have imaginary enemies... from my future Kids' Funny Business, or Space Parasites.  

http://www.shelfari.com/allanbard, myspace.com/ivan_allanbard, http://www.facebook.com/ivanstoikov.allanbard, ,

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http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://allanbard.hit.bg,  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew,