Merry Christmas, everyone! Best of the best wishes! Hope some of these jokes/anecdotes could help for the good Christmas spirit :):
A kid told to his friend: "My father is a construction worker, every time when I tell him 2 + 2=4, I eat ice-cream!"
"Well," said the other kid. "My father is a waiter and every time when I tell him 2+2=4, I eat some slaps..."
Mrs. Davidson's
dishwasher was broken but she could not be there when the repairman came.
So she left a note on the door and the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill,
on the counter, and I will mail you the bill. Oh, and by the way don't worry about my bull dog.
He won't bother you, but whatever you do , do not under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!
The repairman arrives at Mrs. Davidson's apartment the next day. He discovers the biggest and
meanest looking Bull Dog he has ever seen, but just as she said, the dog lays there on the carpet
watching the repairman go about his business. The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole
time with his incessant yelling, cursing, and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself
any longer and yelled: "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!" To which the parrot replied:
"Get him, Spike!"
So she left a note on the door and the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill,
on the counter, and I will mail you the bill. Oh, and by the way don't worry about my bull dog.
He won't bother you, but whatever you do , do not under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!
The repairman arrives at Mrs. Davidson's apartment the next day. He discovers the biggest and
meanest looking Bull Dog he has ever seen, but just as she said, the dog lays there on the carpet
watching the repairman go about his business. The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole
time with his incessant yelling, cursing, and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself
any longer and yelled: "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!" To which the parrot replied:
"Get him, Spike!"
Always remember to
follow your instructions, and have a good day.
From a letter to a famous cooking magazine: "Dear magazine! Thank you for your great recipe! I've changed the truffles with mashed potatoes and the lobsters with chopped sausages, but actually I liked your recipe for salad with lobsters and truffles very much!"
They say good boys go to heaven and bad boys wherever they want... What they don't mention is the reason for that is the difference between being bad and evil is as enormous as the difference between earth and sky... from my future Space Ghosts.
http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://allanbard.hit.bg,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI,http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew,http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08HTXf00CJ0, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmVW4-030Yc,
http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com,www.allanbard.wordpress.com,
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov/121092637984053?sk=wall,
http://www.shelfari.com/allanbard,myspace.com/ivan_allanbard,
http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://allanbard.hit.bg,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI,http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew,http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08HTXf00CJ0, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmVW4-030Yc,
http://www.allanbard.blogspot.com,www.allanbard.wordpress.com,
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov/121092637984053?sk=wall,
http://www.shelfari.com/allanbard,myspace.com/ivan_allanbard,
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