Saturday, April 21, 2012

weekend jokes ;)

4 men are waiting in a dentist waiting-room, while from the dentists cabinet awful sounds of his instruments are heard... Then, the door of the cabinet opens and the dentists asks: "Who's last?" "ME!" reply the patients simultaneously...

In the middle of the night a bandit threatens a man with a knife on his back: "Give me your money!" "I don't have any..."says the scared man. "Then, give me your credit cards!" "They are not with me..." "Give me your jewelries, watch!!!" "I don't have any of them too..." The bandit jumps on the man's back: "Then, you'll ride me to the corner!!!" ;)

I know that many girls/women don't like jokes about blonde women but there are some pretty good among them :):

What is it called when a blonde woman blows in another blonde woman's ear? A transfer of data... How could one make a blonde woman laugh on Monday afternoon? Just tell her a simple joke on Friday morning...

Have a nice weekend, everyone! Don't forget: One can fight money only with money... as my Mountaineers say :).

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/ivanstoikov.allanbard, http:// www.allanbard.blogspot.com, www.allanbard.wordpress.com

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

How far should one go, while writing a book?



As far as I know, the common opinion about writing of books is that it is the easiest way to earn a lot of money, sitting comfortably in front of a PC, laptop, white sheet of paper, etc. Writing, you don’t have to lift heavy objects, get dirty with machine oil, get killed by a bullet, or by another awful weapon, or get a mental disease like in professions where the life of many people depends on you, etc… Usually, this is what those who never tried to write a story would say. Sometimes, writing could be as hard as any physical work (like digging of channels, for example), creating of a story could have a great influence on a writer’s mental health, the wrong interpretation of a book could lead to many murders… To write well, one has to experience many unpleasant activities, depending on your story, like stealing of valuable objects, cheating on your wife/husband, learning to wield well any weapon, or feeling the enormous fear of a doomed victim, or the many dreadful events accompanying the creation of religion, etc…
Of course, some writers would say if a writer has a good imagination, he or she wouldn’t need any experience to write excellent stories. Many others would claim without experiencing every feeling, activity, job, mishap, etc of your characters, you wouldn’t create true, real adventures, good dialogues, or even a gripping plot. There are some of them who would even swear that a writer should reach the end, writing a good manuscript. They would claim that sometimes it means even to kill someone, or destroy some buildings, or steal an enormous sum of money… These guys would point out that doing evil, one could do a lot of good in some cases, so killing a murderer for example could prevent many other killings. Besides, such a “cruel” deed could be the base of an incredible description and plot, which could reveal some excellent wisdom too…
However, my humble (for the present ;) writing experience shows no writer should become the bad character in reality. We have a saying in Bulgaria (can’t remember the English interpretation): Every evil leads to something good, but there is also something else no one should forget… As some of my characters say: Using evil, even for our own good purposes, will finally make us a part of evil itself. I would point out too that J. R. Tolkien brilliantly showed this in his The Lord Of The Rings, where the evil in the one ring finally changed irreversibly everyone of its bearers…
Furthermore, no one would pay attention to the wisdom in a book if its writer did the same horrible things, described and anathemized in his/her works? According to my humble opinion, there should be a good balance between how horrible our experience should be and our “realistic” works. All the writers must use their life-time experience (like education, courses attended, many events and knowledge acquired in the every day routine, etc.), but it doesn’t mean they have to create such one for the sake of a “real” plot that they could become the evil characters in their stories?
http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ijJl-6Be88, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vkixN9Nr2Q, http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/ivanstoikov.allanbard, http:// www.allanbard.blogspot.com, www.allanbard.wordpress.com

Saturday, April 7, 2012

happy Easter to all who celebrate this weekend! + some jokes ;)



After a car crash, a driver comes to consciousness in a hospital: "Where am I?"
"In 501", replies the nurse. "Room or cell?" ;)

A wife says to her husband: "You know, now I'm glad our daughter has a piercing in the nose, it's much easier to wake her up in the morning for school...:)

After being a soldier for a week, a village youngster wrote to his parents: "You have no idea how wonderful it is here, I can stay in bed up to 5,30 a.m.!!!"

The good thing to worship many gods is that way one will have much more holidays than the rest... my future The Origin Of Gods.

Have a great weekend/Easter time!
http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ijJl-6Be88, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vkixN9Nr2Q, http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/ivanstoikov.allanbard, www.allanbard.wordpress.com

Sunday, April 1, 2012

happy April's Fool Day! :):):) not very appropriate for kids...


Do you know some of the favourite characters from Russian fairy-tales:
Grandmother Yaga - a famous witch, likes to kidnap and eat small kids.
Kastchei The Immortal, immortal being something like a vampire.
Leshii, something like a zombie, and the 3 headed dragon...
Grandma Yaga brewed a good vodka and called the 3 headed dragon: "Hey, 3 headed, I made a great vodka, so come over to drink it!"
"No, Grandma Yaga, we with Kastchei The Immortal drank a lot yesterday and all my heads hurt..."
Then, the old lady called Kastchei: "Come quickly, I made a great vodka!"
"No, Grandma Yaga, we with the 3 headed dragon drunk so much yesterday that now I wish I wasn't immortal..."
Finally, she called Leshii and he was in awe with the idea. So, Grandma Yaga when out of her house to wait for her guest. Soon he appeared running, but he fell down at every 5 steps, then got up and after 5 steps fell down again and so on...
"Why you fall down every 5 steps?" the old lady asked him.
"Well, when I remember what a good vodka you made, I run to drink it as soon as possible..." replied Leshii. "But when I remember that after that you'll want to have sex with me, I loose consciousness..." :)

An advertisement in a newspaper: I'm looking to marry an intelligent, carrying man, non-smoker, who doesn't drink, loves kids... Well, there's a 100% discount for billionaires...

A small boy asked his grandpa: Could you give me 1000 $ from your pension? I'll give it back from mine... ;).

Have a great April's Fool Day, everyone! Don't let be fooled too easy...;)
The best way to find/know a mermaid (even an ex-one) is to see whether her hair gets wet... That's the most certain evidence! my Tale Of The Rock Pieces.

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/ivanstoikov.allanbard, http://www.allanbard.wordpress.com

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Capitalism, or socialism, communism, etc?



Probably these words provoked some of the fiercest battles in our history, more than anything else. There are many thick books written on the subject, so I guess I couldn’t add something new about the philosophy, good and bad sides of any of these real or imaginary societies. Yet, as a man who lived at both systems, I could remind and point out some important facts, to which usually many people don’t pay attention (probably just because they are too blinded by their own believes).
First, no one should think there wouldn’t be exploitation in the so called socialism. Working for all the society could be even more unfair and dreadful than working for one chief. As no matter how hard and well you work, finally you won’t get the salary or money you worked for, but those the system will give you. Of course, this has some advantages – many of the money you worked for will be used for health care, life-saving operations, education, etc. So, when you need to go to a hospital, to heal a sickness (that can cost thousands/millions of dollars), or want to study many years to become a good professional in prestigious professions like a doctor, lawyer, successful scientist, etc, you don’t have to pay anything. Yet, later, working at some of these prestigious posts, again you won’t get all of the payment you worked for… It turned out that nothing was free even in the “perfect” socialistic societies.
There is something else very important we should never forget about the communism/socialism. When all the means of production, factories, schools, institutions, etc become common, that means the end of any development. Actually, then nothing belongs to anyone and no one take care of anything. That finally leads to degradation and the end of the system, which we saw in all of the so called socialistic societies. Here, in Bulgaria there was a period (short one, indeed, right after the collapse of the “socialistic” system) when we had to wake up at 3,30 – 4 a.m. just to stand in a long line to buy milk and bread… Otherwise, we had to starve as later we would find only the vacant/empty shelves in the shops. Sounds awful, right? That’s just one of the bad sides of the “real” socialism, probably in such a society it’s impossible to achieve a good balance between production and needs when the system’s rules have to be obeyed 100% (to buy a car, we had to wait for our turn about 10-15 years; there were so small number of kinds of goods in the shops that when we saw a picture of the full shelves in the capitalistic countries we felt as if we were seeing heaven (just for example, we could buy bananas once or twice a year, standing in long lines again…); to buy a colorful TV set, we had to wait in long lines for weeks, even at night as someone could take our place, and all families took turn to wait outside of the shops even in winter time… There are even worse examples in some other “socialistic” countries, in North Korea as far as I remember people were forbidden to own their own cars…
Pointing out all these horrible things about the ex-socialistic societies, I don’t want to claim that everything in capitalism is perfect and had to be praised all day long. One of the most dreadful events in anyone’s life could be loosing a job, which couldn’t happen in socialistic systems as there’s no unemployment. For many people. loosing their job could be equal to suicide, and many put an end to their life if they couldn’t find a good way to earn their living. It happened even here in Bulgaria, during the first years of the capitalistic/ex-socialistic system. Yet, according to some good friends of mine the worst thing about capitalism is Imperialism. The way some developed countries want to rule the world, leading wars in some problematic places, provoked much anger and finally lead to many killings of innocent people. Then, some other friends of mine would point out when the matter at hand is killing of innocent citizens, the ex-communistic/socialistic societies are unsurpassable. The Russian ex-dictator Stalin for example killed more people in the “peaceful” times of “socialism” in the ex USSR than World War II managed to wipe off the face of the Earth. They would also say that there are stupid decisions in both systems (remember what happened in the atomic power station in Chernobyl, or the first testing of the dangerous chemical DDT in USA when people were sprayed with it…), but nothing could be compared with the funny-foolish slogans we could see in the times of the so called communism/socialism: Now, we laugh out loud when we remember them, but in the past they were everywhere and if someone didn’t obey them, or thought they were funny, he/she could end up in jail: In every home - a cow!, Every jar with conserved fruits equals to a punch in the face of the Imperialism, etc.
Well, finally I’d like to point out that the causes of many problems in any of the people’s societies are governments and other institutions’ greediness and selfishness. Neither in capitalism, nor in socialism/communism is underlined that people should be killed or punished because of their believes or thoughts, it’s what the men in power decided to do to keep the people in fear and to become richer and more powerful… If we want better societies, first we must change our consciousness, values, kindness towards others, etc. “All the problems in the world lead to one – narrow-minded people,” and “When books become more valuable than gold, money and power for the greedy governments and men in power, then we’ll experience heaven on Earth,” that’s what some of my characters say and I guess all our history is certain prove of that…

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/ivanstoikov.allanbard, www.allanbard.wordpress.com

Saturday, March 24, 2012

weekend jokes :)


"Doctor, will I be able to play a violin after the operation?"
"Sure, I don't see why not."
"Excellent! I couldn't until now..."

A son-in-law goes out of his mother-in-law's room, carrying a kitten.
"How could you pee in mother's bed?" shouts the man. Then, he says silently in the kitten's ear: "Bravo! Let me shake your paw..."

If we use all the opportunities life, Gods, fate, etc offer us, then even the laws of nature wouldn't be an obstacle...;). my future Kids' Funny Business.
Hope everyone are enjoying the weekend?

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/ivanstoikov.allanbard, www.allanbard.wordpress.com

Saturday, March 17, 2012

weekend jokes ;0


A client in a restaurant: "What is this strange smell?"
"It's fresh air, Sir, we just opened the windows and ventilate..."

Once upon a time there was a cook who was too clumsy, he dropped on the floor everything he chopped: salami, cheese, tomatoes, etc. One day he smeared a thin slice of bread with butter and dropped it with the smeared side on the floor... So, that's how the PIZZA was invented...;)

“One of the greatest delusions of the mankind is that people are superior to animals.” Curved-bills’ saying, my next The Opposite Of Magic.

Have a nice weekend, everyone!

http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/TaleOfTheRockPieces.html, http://allanbard.hit.bg, http://allanbard.hpage.com, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Allan-Bard-Ivan-Stoikov-Fan-Page-Strategic-Book-Group/121092637984053,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yw3a5n00FI, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qUA8Avl7ew, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ijJl-6Be88, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vkixN9Nr2Q,
www.allanbard.wordpress.com